..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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