he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
