im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
