do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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