what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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