doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
