I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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