his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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