dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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