Yo dont text me then not text me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
