Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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