Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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