capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
