why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
