I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
