Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
