Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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