it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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