She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
