As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
