I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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