it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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