Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
