he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You dont lie about slip and slides
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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