i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
