The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
