I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
