I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
