I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
