If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
