Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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