his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize