Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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