Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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