how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The Olympian is in my bed
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