She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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