best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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