coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
