He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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