I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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