dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
