Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
