R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
