i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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