I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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