She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
