If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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