tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
