I wish I could punch you in the face.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
