you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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