When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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