She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize