I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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