SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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