About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
