I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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