I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
