Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
