Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
