So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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