it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
