Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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