Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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