Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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