Kiss
Puke
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
