So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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