I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
