It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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