I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
