can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
