she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
