At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize