we have officially lost it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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