I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
