Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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