You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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